You Should Only Listen to Mentors and Teachers Who Have Already Succeeded at What You Want to Do

Would you ever have a heart surgeon who only read about heart surgery and learned videos online about heart surgery but has never done an operation work on you? Then why would you listen to so-called experts who have never achieved what you want to achieve?

In today’s world, everyone seems to have advice on success, whether related to your career, personal life, or pursuing a passion. While well-meaning, not all advice is created equal, and it’s essential to be selective about who you listen to, especially regarding mentors and teachers. If you’re aiming to achieve something significant, one of the best pieces of advice is to only listen to those who have already succeeded at what you want to do. 

Following these principles can be the difference between success and mediocrity.

1. Proven Track Record of Success

When you choose mentors and teachers who have already succeeded in your field of interest, you learn from individuals with a proven track record of success. They have already navigated the challenges, pitfalls, and opportunities of pursuing your goal. They’ve made mistakes, learned from them, and refined their strategies. As a result, they can offer you insights grounded in experience, not just theory.

Often real estate coaches with limited experience will not share their current portfolio with you, or the amount that they own of any particular real estate project.  You are always made to guess and often their numbers are over stated.

Learning from someone with direct experience can save you time, effort, and frustration. For instance, if you’re aspiring to buy a multifamily apartment building, someone who has built and scaled a portfolio of apartment buildings can provide actionable steps based on what they’ve done. They can also help you avoid common mistakes that they’ve encountered firsthand.

2. Deep Understanding of the Field

Success requires more than surface-level knowledge. It demands a deep, nuanced understanding of the specific challenges and dynamics of the area you’re trying to break into. Mentors and teachers who have already succeeded can provide this level of insight because they’ve lived it.

A successful mentor will know not just the basics of real estate investing but also the advanced strategies that can set you apart. They understand how the real estate industry changes over time, how to stay relevant, and what it takes to excel. They can teach you how to think strategically, how to pivot when necessary, and how to navigate the intricate aspects of your chosen area that are often invisible to outsiders. Their depth of knowledge is often the result of years, if not decades, of experience.

In contrast, those who haven’t experienced success may lack this comprehensive understanding. They might be able to offer only theoretical advice that doesn’t take into account the real-world complexities you’ll face. While there’s value in studying theory, theory without practical application often falls short when it comes to achieving tangible results.

3. Firsthand Experience with Setbacks and Resilience

Success is rarely a straight path, and those who have succeeded know this better than anyone. They’ve likely faced setbacks, failures, and roadblocks along the way. These experiences are invaluable because they teach resilience, perseverance, and the ability to adapt in the face of challenges.

Let’s say you wanted to climb the tallest mountain in the world – Mount Everest.

As an inspiring hiker and mountain climber I have read the book “Into Thin Air” by Jon Krakauer.  The book details Krakauer’s experience in the 1996 Mount Everest disaster, in which eight climbers were killed and several others were stranded by a storm.  

In December of 2023, we had Elia Saikaly speak at DurhamREI.  He has climbed Mount Everest more times than any other Canadian, with many other successful climbs of other very challenging mountains.

If I was going to climb Everest, I would learn from the mistakes of Jon Krakauer, but only take the advice and mentorship from someone like Elia.

Mentors who have already succeeded can offer guidance on how to handle failures because they’ve been there themselves. They understand how to navigate tough times and bounce back stronger. They can share the mindset shifts and strategies that helped them push through adversity and ultimately succeed. This kind of wisdom is invaluable because it goes beyond telling you “failure is part of the process” – it shows you *how* to use failure as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block.

In contrast, mentors who haven’t succeeded in your field might lack the experience of overcoming significant challenges in that area. They might offer empty platitudes or overly simplistic solutions that don’t equip you to handle real-world problems effectively. Without firsthand experience of setbacks, they may not understand the emotional and psychological toll that pursuing success can take, nor will they be able to offer you the tools to cope with those challenges effectively.

4. Relevant and Updated Knowledge

Industries and fields evolve over time, often at a rapid pace. Mentors who have already succeeded and continue to stay engaged in their fields have the most up-to-date knowledge about trends, changes, and innovations. They understand how the landscape has shifted and can help you stay ahead of the curve.

For example, if you’re trying to build a career in real estate investing in a particular area, the strategies that worked five or ten years ago might be outdated now. Someone who succeeded in that field years ago but has stayed active and current can offer you insights into what’s working now. They can guide you on which skills you need to develop to remain competitive and how to adjust your strategies to fit the current market conditions.

Meanwhile, a mentor without relevant, recent experience might provide you with outdated advice. If they haven’t stayed current with the field, their guidance could actually set you back instead of propelling you forward.  I have seen this many times when new real estate investors are coached by people who are no longer investing in real estate.

5. Credibility and Influence

Successful mentors bring with them credibility and, often, a certain level of influence in their area of expertise. They’ve built networks, fostered relationships, and established themselves as respected figures. As their mentee or student, you can benefit from these connections and reputations.

For example, a mentor who has succeeded in real estate investing can introduce you to key people, help you build your own network, and open doors that might otherwise be closed. They can vouch for you, which can significantly boost your credibility as you try to establish yourself. Having a successful mentor’s endorsement can fast-track your progress in ways that you couldn’t achieve on your own.

6. Confidence and Trust

When you learn from someone who has already succeeded, there’s a level of confidence and trust that comes with knowing their advice is based on actual results. You don’t have to wonder whether their guidance will work – they’re living proof that it does. This assurance can give you the confidence to take bold actions and follow their advice wholeheartedly.

Trust is a crucial element of any mentor-mentee relationship. Uncertain about your mentor’s capabilities can breed doubt, hesitation, and second-guessing, all of which can hinder your progress. But when you know your mentor has been where you are and successfully achieved what you want to achieve, you can trust their advice with confidence. This trust empowers you to take the necessary risks and commit fully to the path they’re guiding you on.

7. Realistic Expectations

Finally, mentors who have succeeded in your real estate investing can help you set realistic expectations. They know firsthand how long it takes to achieve success, the effort required, and the obstacles you’re likely to encounter. This helps ground you in reality while keeping your aspirations high.

Mentors who haven’t succeeded might paint an overly rosy or unrealistic picture of what it takes to achieve your goals. This can lead to frustration and burnout when you realize that success is much harder and more time-consuming than you were led to believe. On the other hand, a mentor who has succeeded can provide you with a clear, accurate roadmap and help you stay patient and persistent as you work toward your goal.

Let’s sum things up.

Choosing the right mentor or teacher is one of the most important decisions you’ll make on your path to success. By listening to those who have already achieved what you want to do, you gain access to a wealth of practical experience, credibility, and insights that can guide you effectively. Their firsthand knowledge of success and failure, combined with their up-to-date understanding of the field, makes them invaluable resources in helping you achieve your own dreams.